The ultimate goals of young adult life are pretty simple: meet new friends, have a good time, and try not to do anything stupid. Easy enough, right? Well, in case not, we've consulted an acclaimed expert to help. As an international man of leisure, an authority on the realm of fraternization, and an experienced older man in general, Dr. Corey Smith presents you with an official cheat sheet for this winter's social events. Please cut out and carry with you always...
The 11 commandments of partying:
8. Thou shall not close-talk me.
7. Thou shall not spill ye bong broth on furniture.
6. Thou shall not have sexy time on my bedding.
5. Thou shall not swoop another man's girl.
4. Thou shall not engage in deep philosophical conversation while high.
3. Thou shall not talk to me about how good you are at snowboarding.
1. Thou shall party hard yet still be able to shred the following day.
God speed, and good luck.
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